Published On: Fri, Oct 18th, 2013

NYSE Confirms That It Is All Set To Screw-Up Twitter’s IPO

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“We will match the NASDAQ, and do one better” NYSE officials told a press conference here in New York today. “I mean, this is a technology war of sorts. We see the facebook and twitter logos together everywhere, every single discussion on ‘social media’ always refers to facebook and twitter together – how can the IPO be the exception? ” the officials told a gathering of journalists.

“It is a question of confidence. Today, the promise of the stock markets is to function as the place where people with computers and insider information can rob common people in broad daylight. But when we have a high-profile IPO, we have a stampede to loot money from each other, and we need to step in and send some random quotes so we confuse the shit out of everyone. We would live upto the expectations, and beat what NASDAQ did in every way you can imagine” a beaming official told FakeValley.

Meantime, Nasdaq Chief Executive Robert Greifeld, speaking exclusively to FakeValley, made an open challenge to NYSE- “If you can match our screw-up, I promise you, we will screw-up the next one so badly, that you will think you landed up in the US Congress instead of the stock market” he said.

(Image credit: stocksonwallstreet.net

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NYSE Confirms That It Is All Set To Screw-Up Twitter’s IPO